Never Meant

Lets just forget, everything said. Everything we did.
Best friends, better halves
Goodbyes, and the other night, we realized,
We were falling out of love
there were some things, that were said, that weren't meant
they never did
the last thing i want to be is overly dramatic
I just think its best
Cause you cant miss what you forget
So lets just pretend
Everything and anything
Between you and me
Was never meant

Amnesia and Me

Amnesia's a pretty word to speak aloud or write
So I shall use it as a nickname for the girl I've in my life
She's not the sum of what she owns
And she ain't cavalier with the skin she shows

She has helped me with the questions in my life that have plagued me
Now I know who I am, a tongue-biting one-woman man

Amnesia sings songs under her breath, she's too shy to project
She'd prefer say nothing at all than have to endure talk of the small variety
She don't always make nice with others
In fact, she sometimes makes downright mean with me

But she has saved me from the long nights and the last calls that have betrayed me
Now I know who I am, a house-broken one-woman man

Amnesia and Me, we're sitting in our tree
F-O-R-G-E-T-T-I-N-G everything we once knew

I'm Okay, Your Okay

The other week I was have a pretty bad day, I'm not going to get into specifics but the whole day dragged on and almost everything that I didn't want to happen, well, happened. We live in a technological age so I decided to do the normal thing and vent a very small portion of my frustration on my Facebook status, I mean isn't that what everyone does?
Well a little later on I get a comment on my status that read, and I quote: "John, John, we are going to have to work on that attitude - This is the day the Lord hath made :). . . . . you know the rest."

Ok I am sure that this person meant that comment as encouraging, but it really pissed me off. I know this is the day the Lord has made, I am very aware and appreciative. I will be honest and just say that this person's comment made me feel bad, like there was something wrong with me for having a bad day.....unvalidated if you will. It got me thinking, is it really so bad to not be okay? Should I just stuff everything down and put on a face that says my life is perfectly fine? Absolutely not.

King David prayed to the Lord: "My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word." Right there he is saying, "God I'm not okay, and I need Your help"
Jesus also said: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Jesus is INVITING and ENCOURAGING us to come to him when we are downtrodden. I then think that is all the validation I need but to be honest that person's comment still gets under my skin. As a society I don't think we are honest enough about our feelings, and I think we encourage people to hide how things are really going. When we ask someone "how's it going?" do we really want to know? If that person started spilling their soul do you really want to listen? Just the other day I asked someone how their day was going, their response was "pretty crappy actually", all I said was "thats sucks, I'm sorry".....why didn't I ENCOURAGE and INVITE them to tell me what was on their heart. If they don't want to tell me that's fine, but it would give them an opportunity to talk to someone if they need to. But instead I side-stepped it and let them go one with a lackluster "I'm sorry".

Truth be told, I am not always okay. Sometimes I have TONS of stuff on my mind. Sometimes I feel empty, like I can barely make it through the day. Do I ALWAYS feel this way? No......but honestly sometimes I do, and I think it would not be wise nor beneficial to pretend that I am in any way perfect. I am a work in progress.

In closing, It's okay not to be okay....

Eventually You Get Up

You fall and you fall, eventually you get up.
It hurts like hell but brings you to life.

I didn't see this coming the end of all that was.
Just lived the lie that what brings you rest cannot
hurt you. It was summer and I hoped for more
than the rut this place brings. All I got was
emptiness that still haunts me. I lost a part of
me and I lost my way but the pictures stayed
to follow me to bed. What I'll see tonight I won't
see ever again.

There is no lighthouse or landmarks to guide me
through. Your stories they are beautiful but they
won't bring me back. There is no route written
that I can take or someone that I can follow. Your
stories they are beautiful but these troubled waters
I have to cross alone.

I try to hang on to the things that I know I used to,
used to care for and the people that I know that I
love. It goes some of the time but sometimes life
just treats you too hard. When they find your body
drifting to land at least you tried to find your way
back home.